Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hello Again

I haven't updated in a while. I think that will be the theme to this blog. Long pauses and then possibly big updates. Such is the life of a growing family.

Alex is getting cuter by the day. He's shaking his head yes (sometimes it even seems like he knows what it means) and giving kisses to both mommy and daddy freely (unless he's not in the mood). He grows bigger every day it seems and I am sure that by the time he's in junior high he will be towering over me. But really, who thought my genes had a chance in this game anyhow? He's also gone down to one nap per day. It's a good thing he does it while on daddy's watch so that daddy gets a little extra sleep. Although he usually doesn't wake til 10, sometimes Sal is up til 4am or later and that's just not enough for him.

In preparation for the growing baby in my belly, we have mostly moved the office to the basement. This could be part of the reason I don't get on the computer at home as much. We still have quite a bit left to do in the old room (cleaning and clearing) but once that is all done, it will be Alex's new room. Of course he won't be sleeping in there until he's ready for a toddler bed. For now, it will be where all of his toys are. I have to reclaim some of the living room for future baby's swing and bouncer and jumperoo!

With the new baby comes some apprehension, though. Ever since Alex was born, I have wanted only boys. I finally had decided only hours before finding out Alex's gender that I wanted a boy. I was beyond thrilled. I was irritated when my boss thought I was sad I wasn't having a girl. How dare she? Just because of the stereotype that a woman would want a mini-me is out there does not mean it holds true for all. I don't want to deal with hormones and boobs and crevices! I am already emotional enough.

The problem is that I don't know what I am carrying yet. I'm only 11 weeks along. That means I have another 9 weeks to fret and worry about the what-ifs, and that's only if the baby cooperates at the big ultrasound. I will not have an amnio unless absolutely necessary so that's out of the question. How will I react if it's a girl? Will I be disappointed? Will I love it just the same? I'm sure of that one, I suppose. It's my child and I will love it no matter the gender. But how will I handle a girl? Will the disappointment go away once she's here if that's the case? Will I instantly switch to team pink when I see the hamburger? Or will I be disconnected from that little person growing inside of me?

There is, of course, nothing to be done. It's already written in stone and DNA what this child will become. We did do the Shettles Method to help our chances of a boy but only time and a magic wand will tell. If it is a girl, it means another shower. However, I don't know who would throw it. And that's not really something you ask someone to do anyhow. Someone volunteers and that's that. If it's a boy, then no shower but we wouldn't need one. We have nearly everything we need already since this one is only due the same season Alex was born.

That brings me to my own little pity party. Since this is our second, no one is nearly as excited about it as the first. Hell, even at work I've only gotten a couple of congratulations. I'm pretty sure everyone knows since things like this get spread around fast. Ever seen the episode of Scrubs when Turk announces that Carla is pregnant again? Remember how he tells Ted's girlfriend it's his first to get some damned attention? Yeah, I kinda feel like that. My best friend and my other close friends (and all my BFFs on BBC) have been really great about it. And really, that should be all that matters. But there's this nagging feeling in the back of my head that is really pissed off at everyone I work with for not caring a lick about it. Bastards.